Rhyming Prompt: December 11
Like everyone else, I like to get presents,
They make me feel loved, supported, and known.
The thought matters more than the package contents
The exchange is a feeling more than something to own.
One year I made my sister a gift
To show her how much I valued her
And I could tell that it gave her a really big lift
And I never had to set foot in a store!
Let’s work together to make someone a treat;
When we pull it off it’ll be quite a feat.
Download the prompts for December 9-12 here as a PDF or here as a Microsoft Word Document (you may have already printed these—I’m just re-posting them here for convenience).
A closeup image of the December 11 prompt. It is printed on cream cardstock with a green border, and it has a teal wax seal of a frog, highlighted in gold. It is nestled in a lit Christmas tree.
Other Materials:
This depends on what you would like your child to make. I have loved having my kids make salt dough ornaments in the past, and if you would like them to make those, you might check out these instructions from Wholefully. My kids and I will be making these easy lotion boars from Common Sense Home. I’ve tried lots of variations on lotion bar recipes, and this one, which I make with coconut oil, shea butter, beeswax, and just a dash of vitamin E oil, is my hands-down favorite. If you go this route, you’ll also want some silicon molds (ice cube trays work fine), tins or bags for storage, and a pot and a bowl or a double-boiler. If you don’t have ingredients on hand, Mountain Rose Herbs can hook you up with sustainably sourced ingredients (and you can pick up at the mercantile if you’re in Eugene).
Suggested Pose:
Frantz is really mailing it in today because Mommy is grading. He is sitting on top of his lotion bar ingredients like an over-zealous manager.
Frantz sits perched on a pink silicone snowflake mold, which rests on a gray tufted ottoman. He is holding the December 11 prompt. Behind him rests the ingredients for lotion bars—beeswax pastilles, coconut oil, vitamin E oil, an obscured plastic tub of shea butter—which are arranged on a red ceramic tray.
Activity:
Discuss the person or people you plan to make gifts for, and chat about what they might like. Then work with your kids to produce that gift.
Rationale:
There are lots of theories about how children develop empathy, but theoretical and empirical researchers seem to agree on three main components that are crucial to the development and maintenance of empathy in children: “1). Opportunities to talk about emotions, both one’s own emotions and the emotions of others (i.e., develop a vocabulary of emotions); 2) Opportunities to take others’ perspectives; and 3) The creation of a caring and inclusive classroom, in which acceptance and respect for others is at the fore” (Schonert-Reichle & Oberle, 2011, p. 133). So far this month, we have been working, gradually, on helping our children focus on these aspects of empathy at home. This exercise is meant to primarily invoke the second element of this equation. In order to give the perfect gift, you have to take another’s perspective—not just what would I like, but what would they like. As adults, gift-giving is one of the moments when we engage in perspective-taking most visibly. While we take other people’s perspectives regularly, that work is often done behind the scenes; it may influence our actions and behaviors, but it’s not necessarily obvious in which ways. When we think through gift-giving, we often specifically verbalize our perspective-taking: “You love bluegrass music and have been looking for a pandemic hobby that helps distract you from screens, so I found you this second-hand violin and some Zoom lessons,” or “I know you have fond memories of baking with your mom using this out-of-print cookbook from the ‘80s, and I just so happened to find it for you on eBay.” This exercise offers our kids a tactile activity, which will help them focus, along with an opportunity to model the mental work that goes into gift-giving.
Book Recommendation:
Another classic today, but one I couldn’t resist: The Giving Tree, by Shel Silverstein. The Giving Tree is one of the most famously controversial, yet enduring, children’s books. It’s so ubiquitous that it was the first present we received upon announcing our first pregnancy. Many people have criticized the book because the boy takes until the tree has been all used up, and if you take the book at face value, it will absolutely spread the wrong lesson. Instead, The Giving Tree should be used as a great opportunity to discuss the boy’s lack of empathy. Because he was unable to take the tree’s perspective, he destroyed her, and if that isn’t an apt metaphor for our times, I don’t know what is. You can watch a read aloud here. I really enjoyed reading this recent consideration of the classic book in The New York Times, and its authors also wrote The Gift Inside the Box, which is an excellent children’s book about generosity in and of itself.
An image of the cover of The Gift Inside the Box, by Adam Grant, Allison Sweet Grant, and Diana Schoenbrun.
References
Schonert-Reichle, K. A. & Oberle, E. (2011). Teaching empathy to children: Theoretical and empirical considerations and implications for practice. In B. Weber, E. Marsal, & T. Dobashi (Eds.), The politics of empathy: New Interdisciplinary Perspectives on an Ancient Phenomenon (pp.117-138). Transaction Publishers.